Updated: May 21
People hang around people they are comfortable being around!
Look at the 5 closest people in your life and you will have a pretty good idea what your like!
I had a fellow CEO tell me they didn't hire anyone they would not want to see every morning when they got to work!
These are just a few examples of how we all want to hang around with people we are comfortable with, that doesn't mean people we are not comfortable with are bad people! It just means they may have different interests, different sense of humor ways of communicating, different hobbies, different tastes in entertainment.
Remember the CEO that said they wanted to look forward to seeing a fellow teammate each morning before they hires them.
We all tend to find people we share interests with in our personal and professional life.
So when you want to make a move to the next level in your life you might want to check and see if you and they are comfortable being around each other.
I recommended fellow CEO's and senior executives take their top candidate for coffee before hiring them. When I was climbing the ladder my wife and I would be invited out for dinner with a potential employer just to see if we "got along, were comfortable with each other".
You might see how many friends you have at the next level of your life.
If most of your friends are at your level or below in life you might make it a goal to build relationships with people above your pay grade.
The higher people get in life the better they are at communicating with different personalities, behavior styles and they love to teach.
I recommended people would ask to have coffee or lunch with people at the level of life they aspire to. Be a great listener, ask thoughtful questions, listen for their interests, hobbies, passions, how they communicate. If you meet enough of them for coffee, lunch or a zoom meeting, you will start to see what they have in common and how they are comfortable communicating. Then the question is can you become that person, with those interests, communications skills, behavioral skills.
The Most Successful CEO'S and Senior Executives are very good at communicating with people at all levels of development in life. Not true for most people at lower levels of development in life. The are not comfortable talking to people above them.
Keep in mind, leading people is not the only way to get ahead in life! My father was an amazing electrical engineer, not great with people but a TRUSTED BUSINESS PARTNER and SUBJECT MATTER EXPERT when it came to locomotives. He was sent all over the country and different countries to troubleshoot GE Locomotives. He had no interest in leading people. He was very comfortable around other engineers and mechanics. He was successful in his life. We have many trades we need from carpentry to computer sciences and they're passion for those trades help them learn to build relationships with people that share that passion. I, We need all these different people with different passions.
For Leadership we have to have excellent communications skills, relationship skills and emotional intelligence. Our ability to inspire, motivate and develop the talent we need to reach our goals depends on it.
Are your current communications skills, relationship skills and emotional intelligence where they need to be to move to the next level of your life? Look at the level the people you prefer to be around with are at.
These are the same relationship skills necessary for a happy personal life. Although it is more difficult to practice with our family.